Cowboy Confessions.
When Irish country-folk-pop icon CMAT udders the words “I wanna be a cowboy baby” over and over again, it is almost like a hymn. A spiritual realization that I indeed want to be a cowboy, baby.
It was a cool spring night, my hair was becoming blonder, my skin was becoming clearer and I was madly cramming for an assignment. I was under pressure, stressed, and needed to focus. It was time to turn some music on. I went to Spotify and decided that instead of listening to the same five songs I had been listening to all week I would take a chance on something new.
It's time for something different. My "Discover Weekly" was at the top of the screen. Screaming at me “Pick me, listen to me!!.” I caved, I tried something new. It was not the first song on the playlist. I had been listening to songs prior to this revelation, but this was the first song that made me stop my work. This song halted me. It shocked me. I keep hitting refresh, playing it again and again. I immediately shared it on my social media. I didn’t care if people listened to it, I just wanted to shout to the world “I WANNA BE A COWBOY BABY!” I wanted the world to know that this was my song. My anthem. I fell instantly in love with this song. Love at first listen. This song made me dance. It made me dance and it made me sing. The type of singing like nobody is watching. Each time I belted the lines of this power ballad it was as if there was a realization of power straight from my belly. This song has a creatively upbeat tune, that makes you feel like a mix between a Dolly Parton and Katy Perry song. But those lyrics. Those lyrics cut through my heart. I only fully understood my pull to this song once I digested the lyrics. At that moment I felt every line resonate in my body.
The first time I shared this song with a person face-to-face was in this friend's car. Now this car and I have been through lot. Tears and laughs both linger in this car. I played it to her with a warning. The rambling warning went a little like this: “ I love this song and I hope you like it too. If you don’t, that’s ok, but maybe don’t tell me ok.... here’s the song.” She doesn't know this but I sat in complete fear that my anthem, my song would not be well received. Well, thank God that fear was swiftly abated, because when her smile grew and she started to hum along I knew I had won the lottery with this song. That hum was my savior. That hum was my relief. She likes it I thought, she likes the song I love. We laugh and listen to it 10 more times that day. That wasn’t the last time this song had been shared. I have danced to this song while the sun sets. I have sung to this song while making spaghetti and meatballs. I have sung to this song while driving and crying and laughing because this song is a hug, this song is a comfort. This song is a friend.
